Forgetting the Lilies
by penned.in.sanity
Summary: James has always pursued Lily relentlessly, but she never accepts. But when he gives up trying, what happens when she realizes she misses his affections? Can she figure out her own before he forgets about her completely? LJ pairing, rated T for language.
1. Meeting Lilies

**A/N:** this was just an idea that came to me. I hope you like it since I haven't ever written a Lily and James fic and it has been a while since I've written a HP story. Please review!

**Disclaimer:** I don't own any characters. If I did, I would not be writing this; I would be buying a very pretty car. Just kidding…maybe…

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**Chapter 1**

Could he be any more annoying or infuriating? Never mind he probably would find a way to be even more of a prick than he already was. He would fall into step with her while she was patrolling the halls asking her a myriad of stupid and pointless questions only to be met with the same response again and again. "Shut up Potter!" It was like an automatic switch in her head went off whenever he stepped within ten feet of her. Gosh he was like a plague that constantly followed her wherever she went. But her friends weren't much help to her in this area. Although they would never admit it directly to her face, they thought she overreacted to James and his annoyance; of course this is what every other girl in the school thought about her. Most of them would die to have James Potter constantly asking them out and following them incessantly, but of course Lily Evans was not most girls.

She didn't want to be one of those girls who swooned at the sight of him. Whose knees trembled when he came near. Whose heart raced and batted their eyelashes at him just to catch a glance in their direction. They put on their prettiest little outfits and strutted in front of him with their school skirts hoisted high and shirts unbuttoned just enough to show some cleavage but not enough for McGonagall to take points away for vulgarity. The girls who purposely did the stupidest just to be noticed by him, those were the ones she despised. And they didn't just do it for James Potter, but also his partners in crime Sirius Black, Remus Lupin, and Peter Pettigrew. Well maybe not Peter but he still hung out with the other three.

Girls would send them their most flirtatious looks during meals in the Great Hall or while they were "studying" in the library. Remus was the only one of them with any common sense to actually study to pass his classes. James and Sirius didn't seem to care that much about class or tests. And Peter, well to be quite honest she didn't really know much about him.

James, Sirius, Remus, and Peter, or more commonly known as the Mauraders, ruled the school. Girls fell at their feet and guys wanted desperately to be part of their group. Their pranks were legendary throughout the school and they were known for having a permanent residency in either McGonalgall's office or detention, which was another reason why Lily hated them. She was stickler for following the rules and hated how they exploited their responsibilities, since Remus was a prefect and James Potter of all people was Head Boy along with her.

So today, not unlike another Monday, Lily sat in Charms class furiously taking notes on the lecture next to her best friend Kristina, who was less into school work and more into twirling her hair around her fingers while starring at some cute Ravenclaw across the room. Kristina was the more boy crazy one of her best friends, but with her long platinum blonde hair and deep blue eyes, she nearly drew all the boys crazy, even Sirius had made a pass at her. The only boy that seemed to not find her quite as interesting to stare at was Potter, mostly because his eyes never left Lily. Kristina was the athletic one of the group who wouldn't care if the boys stared at her, but would break their hand if they ever tried to touch her. A little hostile at times, she was one the most loyal people Lily knew.

Sitting to her right was her two other best friends, Lindsay and Emma. Emma was the quiet one of the group. With long dark brown hair that reached almost all the way down her back and deep chocolate brown eyes, she could have most guys falling at her feet like Kristina, but instead she spent most of her time at the library. While Lily worked and read everything under to get good grades at Hogwarts, Emma didn't put herself out there for people and classmates to see the real her. Her grades suffered greatly because of her lack of attention in classes, probably due to the fact she was always reading a book, even while the professors were lecturing. Only Lily, Lindsay, and Kristina knew how sweet she really was.

Lindsay was the wild one; she had shoulder length brown hair that fell in soft curls framing her face. Bright blues stood out on her pale face. She was the one who would drag the three others out for a late night party, or give everybody crazy makeovers with bright green eye liner and blue lipstick. While Kristina attracted all the boys, Lindsay was the most sexually driven one of the group. She had dated almost all the boys in the Gryffindor dorm, except Peter and James, and she flaunted what she had, instead of hiding it like Lily and Emma, although Emma more than Lily.

Lily had always marveled at how different they all had become since first year, but somehow something had bonded the four girls. They were inseparable, almost like the Mauraders.

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While Lily was jotting down everything the professor was saying for preparation for N.E.W.T.s, James was mindlessly staring at the beautiful red head whose quill was flying across the parchment at top speed. He admired her diligence at her school work, one quality which James acquired but never seemed to exercise in the classroom. He couldn't stop himself from constantly dreaming about her emerald eyes that sparkled when she looked at him. Well alright the sparkle in the eyes when she looked at him was from anger and frustration but what the hell, it was better than nothing.

His friends were convinced that his constant pursuit of her was completely in vain but something held hope in James's mind that she would someday fall for him just as he had fallen for her. Except that she didn't know that he was completely and utterly in love with her. She probably figured it was some game or contest to get her to sleep with him or something; she would just be another notch on his belt. But if she knew how different she was to him, he wondered if she would react differently to him. there was nothing thought that would convince her of how he really felt, probably because he was scared to admit to anyone besides his closest friends what she really meant to him. The rest of the school was lead to believe what Lily did; she was his newest conquest that he would convince to date him, and then dump her as quickly as their "relationship" started.

So because James was a constant annoyance, Lily loathed him to no end, which didn't help James's pursuit of her. But James was never one to taken the first hint, or second or third, he would constantly ask her stupid questions, pull crazy pranks, and mock her just for her attention. This, oddly enough, was pointed out by Sirius to be a completely useless tactic that seemed to be providing no progress in changing Lily's opinion of him. Remus seconded Sirius's observation, stating that he should try to be less annoying to Lily and use his head to come up with a plan that would supply him with actual results. The fact that Remus had agreed with Sirius's statement made Sirius's ego grow about three times its normal size since Remus was always considered to be the smart one of the group, or at least the only one with any common sense.

James and Sirius's idea of common sense was anything that didn't land them in McGonagall's office having a "friendly" chat about the safeties of bewitching the torches in the halls to spit fire at any Slytherin walking by. Remus on the other hand was more sensible the pranks they pulled. Since fifth year where the four were nearly expelled for a series of plans having to do with man eating plants and bewitched brooms in friendly Quiddich scrimmages, the Mauraders decided to run any future pranks by Remus before they were followed through. Well, their plan worked for a little bit until Sirius discovered he could find a way to combine his talent for pranks with his love of the girl species. This proved to be successful and disastrous. Coincidently their plan was thrown out the window and they went back to pulling pointless and extremely stupid pranks.

Because of these stupid pranks, Lily hated James even more than she did before. She wasn't always the center of their jokes and pranks, but since fourth year James had constantly asked her out. Since she said no every time, he tried even harder each time with even crazier and more ridiculous ideas, each time with no avail. So Lily, who became increasingly annoyed by his stupid antics, developed a very mature and sensible reaction to him, scream incessantly and pick useless fights with him in order to divert his affections towards her to someone else. This never worked.

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So here Lily sat in Charms trying to ignore the fact that James's eyes were searing into the back of her head. He could never just leave her alone; his thick head couldn't absorb the idea that she didn't want to be anywhere near him nevertheless date him. It infuriated her to no end that he just wouldn't give up. And now it seemed he was trying again. She couldn't understand why his friends didn't advise him to give up this game of cat and mouse.

A ball of parchment flew over her shoulder and into the center of her neat and uniform notes. Hesitantly she opened the note, her curiosity getting the better of her as she attempted to read the messy scrawl across the page.

_When do you want to meet for our Head meeting tonight? I have a previous engagement of sorts but we can do it after 8. –James_

_PS- please don't throw this back without a response because this is getting almost too pathetic for even me. Save our little Jamesie from himself! –Sirius_

_Sirius this is not pathetic; you have done way worse things to get a girl. And stop intercepting my notes and DON'T call me Jamesie!_

Lily attempted to stifle a laugh reading Sirius and James's conversation, but instead of throwing the note back to them, she kept it until the end of class which came all too quickly for Lily. The end of class meant a confrontation with James that meant another fight which meant another hellish night of Head duties with him. She sighed at her inevitable bad mood and hastily got up with Emma, Kristina, and Lindsay following her behind.

Before having a chance of running into James, Lily casually dropped the noted in the trash can and strolled out with her best friends flanking her down the hallway.

"Evans, wait up!" James ran up behind her. Lily rolled her eyes but continued to walk ahead as if there wasn't some crazed lunatic following her down the hallway screaming her name.

But of course fate wasn't on her side today and before she knew, her feet tripped over Kristina's and they both fell to the ground with a sea of scattered books surrounding them. Well that would have happened to Lily if James hadn't been behind her and, due to his quick Quiddich reflexes, caught her around her waist before she hit the ground.

Lily breathed in and out steadily as she took in her situation. Books were strewn on the ground with Kristina on top of them and a strong pair of arms was fastened around her waist. She relaxed her body from the near fall into the person holding her and found herself extremely close to the last person she wanted to be with.

"Potter, get your bloody hands off me before I break them myself!" She screamed at the top of her lungs, pushing his arms off from around her. Taking the hint immediately, James pulled away from her, but a little too quickly and Lily lost her balance. She ended up where she would have before if James hadn't caught her.

"Ow bloody hell…" Lily cursed was she regained her composure on the ground.

"You see Miss Evans, if you had not been so resistant to my help, you would find yourself in this little predicament on the ground. Instead you would be securely in my arms," James said smoothly.

"I'd rather be in hell than be in your arms Potter," Lily spat.

"Fine have it your way. So what time for the Head meeting? I have a previous engagement that should end around 8 or so," James stated smugly, as if having a previous engagement was the most important thing in the world.

"I hope it's a lobotomy for your oversized head and over inflated ego," Lily sniped.

"Actually I have a date if you want to know," James said proudly.

"I don't want to know actually," Lily said, hoisting herself up from the ground.

"So 8 it is then," James said.

"Yeah 8," Lily said coolly before turning around to help her friends, completely ignoring the four Mauraders behind her. After picking up all the scattered books, the four girls casually walked away from the Mauraders behind them. James's eyes followed the red head as she strolled away down the hallway.

"James what the hell was that?" Sirius jokingly asked, referring to James's high and mighty act.

"Oh no I know that look, he's planning something and that's never good," Remus said wearily.

"Come on Moony not all my ideas are bad ones," James replied, giving him his best hurt face.

"When it has to do with Evans, it's a given that they will be bad ones, or at least blow up in your face. Mostly they happen to be hilarious to watch as you fall back on your ass, but then pathetic to see you heartbroken over her," Sirius mused, but his attentions quickly turned from James to a few Hufflepuff girls walking down the corridor. They giggled to each other and waved shyly at Sirius while making their way to the Great Hall for lunch.

"Thanks for the support Padfoot. Look, since none of my other ideas have worked, I have decided to attempt to make her jealous. She'll see me out with another girl and instantly realize that she needs me. Then I'll have her following me," James laid out his "brilliant" plan.

Remus snickered at his idea. "James that has to be your most ridiculous plan yet, I don't even want to hear about it when it ultimately fails miserably. Prongs, I beg you, don't go through with this."

"Yeah I wouldn't even do this, Jamesie," Sirius commented.

"Yeah…" Peter squeaked in.

"Sirius you have done this before. Don't you remember Rebecca Torkins, that Ravenclaw fifth year you were so desperate to go out with that you went out with her twin sister to make her jealous. Then once you went out with her, you moved on to her best friend two days later," Remus told them, grimacing at Sirius's horrid treatment of the girls.

"See Padfoot, at least I treat girls with more respect than you do." 

"Yeah but I don't follow one girl relentlessly who wants nothing to do with me. Take a hint Prongs, she doesn't like you."

"Look we could stand here all day arguing this subject but I think we should get to lunch. We all know what happen to Sirius without food," Remus rationalized. It was as if suddenly Sirius remembered he was hungry, and he proceeded to drag the other three down the hallway towards the Great Hall.

"Food here I come!" he yelled as they made their way through the double doors of the Great Hall, only to receive a scathing look from McGonagall for his loud tone.

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"He's up to something. I just know he is. There was something about his tone today; he's planning something. It's probably some insane plot to get me to go out with him. Well it's not going to work; I wish he would just leave me alone. Can the boy not take a hint? I don't want to be anywhere near him. All I know is that his little plan is going to be stupid and pointless. I wish he would just go away. Does he not understand I don't want to go out with him? Honestly, it's infuriating," Lily rambled on. She was seething as her friends listened to her incessant ranting.

"Methinks the lady doth protest too much," Kristina mimicked. The other laughed along side her as Lily glared at them.

"Not funny," Lily deadpanned; her green eyes were red with fury.

"We're sorry hun, but you do complain about him a lot," Emma soothed. She rarely spoke to anyone besides her friends, but when she did talk, she was always the mother figure.

"Yeah yeah I know."

"I just think you're being paranoid. He's not smart enough to come up with some cunning plan to ask you out. His idea of "cunning" is getting Remus to ask you about something, and then come bounding out from behind the corner and ask you out while your caught off guard," Kristina mused, biting down into a piece of bread.

"You're giving him too much credit," Lindsay added.

"I guess," Lily said, thinking over her situation. Maybe she was being paranoid. Then again it was James; she couldn't put anything past him. Lily soon found herself lost in thought when something snapped her out it.

"Lily. Lily!" Kristina waved a hand in front of her blank face.

"What?" Lily looked up at her friends who were already getting ready to leave.

"It's time for class," Emma said.

"Oh crap!" Lily bolted from her seat and ran out the Great Hall on her way to class.

"She may need this," Lindsay stated, following the rest of her friends out caring Lily's book bag. They laughed at the craziness of their friend and pushed their way through the doors of the Great Hall on their way to Potions.

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**A/N:** ok so this doesn't really leave a cliffhanger but I promise this story will get better and more interesting. Chapter two will be up as soon as possible. You can't really tell where the story is going right now, but it will become clearer as the story progresses. Please review and feel free to give criticism and critique. Thanks! (:


	2. Fighting Lilies

**A/N:** ok so I got one review for my last chapter. Please will more people review because it makes me happy, and I like to be happy.

firelily28 – thank you so much for being my only reviewer. I appreciate it whole heartedly. I'll try to update regularly.

This chapter is much shorter than any of my others so please bear with me. The next one will be longer I promise.

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**Chapter 2**

"James I'm having so much fun tonight. I always thought you were after that little red head book worm type but then you asked me out and I just couldn't believe it. I am out with James Potter. Like oh my gosh, it really is amazing. So anyways, how are you? I feel like I have been monopolizing the conversation tonight, but I am just having so much fun…" the blonde girl in front of him rambled on. She was pretty enough, long blonde hair and a nice body, but he couldn't concentrate on a word that was coming out of her mouth. She was boring and had the brain of a wet mop.

"And so she was like, why didn't you get the green one? And I was like, because my signature color is pink, of course?" James nodded at her. She was a transfer student from Beverly Hills, California, and hilarious to listen to talk, if anything she said was remotely interesting. James couldn't help his thoughts from wandering back to Lily. It seemed right now she was the only thing he could think about. Normally he could at least pretend to pay attention to his date, but right now he couldn't even remember her name. Sharon or Shannon or some other crap name like that.

James sighed as he sat at the lake with her. There was something serene about the lake. The dark blue water moved silently as he watched it. His reflection shone in the water from the silver moonlight. He could see her face next his. Her pearl white skin and vibrant green eyes that stood out made her all the more beautiful in his eyes. Fire red hair cascaded down her shoulders. How could this one girl make him so crazy?

Realizing Shannon or Sharon had stopped talking and an uncomfortable silence fell over the two, he knew they needed to get back before McGonagall had their heads. And so James politely ended the dreadful date with her and walked her back to the tower.

As he laid down on his bed, tired from all the stress he had accumulated over the past two days, something shot into the forefront of his mind. Shit he had a head meeting and it was…shit again eight forty-five.

"Jamesie what's with the horrid face? You look as if you've seen a ghost," Sirius mused as he strolled casually into the dorm with Remus and Peter followed in suit.

"Not a ghost, but I think I just saw my life flash before my eyes," James spat sarcastically, running out of the dorm for his life.

"Wonder what bit him in the ass," Sirius laughed, plopping down on his bed. Stretching his lean arms above his head, his mind continuously wondered what his dear friend had forgotten to put him into the frantic frenzy.

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Lily sat in the Head common room that was reserved only for the Head boy and Head girl. Her green eyes were fixed upon the clock sitting above the cherry oak mantle. The second hand ticked by and by while Lily twiddled her thumbs. Of course he was late, but she hadn't expected to be this late. The sound of the clock was the only sound that resonated throughout the room until the fire suddenly burst up, sending the crackles from the flames to cover the ticking of the clock. Lily spun around, her green eyes piercing at the person standing in the door way.

"Potter what the hell do you think you're doing here?"

"Ok I know I messed up but…" James started but was cut off by pillow hurtling towards his head.

"Potter _you _were the one who insisted on having the Head meeting at 8 o'clock, and you don't even bother to show up on time. On top of that you weren't even just a few minutes late, you were fifty minutes late. Fifty bloody minutes, Potter. Did you think I wouldn't notice? Honestly, what do take me as, an idiot?" Lily screamed at the top of her lungs. She picked up another pillow, poised to throw it at any second depending on the next words out of his mouth.

"Evans, ok, this looks worse than it seems. I really didn't mean to be late, and I feel really bad about it. But you know it really wasn't my fault…" and with that, Lily promptly threw the pillow she had in her hand at his head. James, who was too absorbed in what he was saying, didn't notice the pillow until it was only a few centimeters away from his face. Even James didn't have that good of reflexes so he soon found himself with a hard pillow against his face.

"Yeah ok I maybe deserved that," he said pulling the pillow away from his face, "but honestly Evans it was just a mistake. I am sorry about it but we can still do the Head business tonight."

"Potter I don't even want to look at you anymore. God, I don't even know why Dumbledore gave you the position of Head boy. You're the most irresponsible person I know. You can't even show up on time for doing our simple meeting about our duties. Seriously, it's unbelievable. You don't even know how to be responsible; hell you don't even know how to act more mature than a five year old. Talking to you is like a continuously hitting my head against a stone wall. It's painful, aggravating, and utterly useless. I don't even know why I'm talking to you. I must be losing my goddamn mind to even think for one second you would actually do something that you said you would. Then again it was your idea so I guess that in the back of my mind somewhere I thought that that meant you would show up, but _NO. _You go around asking me out everyday, hoping I will say yes, but think about it Potter. Why would I say yes if you can't even show up on time for a Head meeting? Why would I not think then that you would stand me up? Why would I not think that…that…never mind…" Lily screamed, winding down her tirade. She was breathing heavily and her eyes were red with fury.

"Evans…" James tried to speak but his words were failing him miserably.

"Potter, just leave me. I don't ever want to see you again…" Lily spat, sinking down on to the red velvet couch. It was one of those couches where you were nearly eaten by the cushions and looked as if you were a dwarf and the couch was built for a giant.

"Why are you making such a big deal about this? I was just late for a meeting. Why the hell is it such a bloody deal?" James yelled at her. He was tired of being persecuted by her. So he was late, big fucking deal. It wasn't like it was the end of the world.

Lily just stared at him, her eyes fixed on him. When he brought his eyes up to her emerald ones, her gaze was so intense he had to pull them away fast. Her eyes were scaring him to death.

"It's a big deal because you don't seem to care about anything but yourself. You are the most self-centered, conceited, arrogant person I know. I actually want to accomplish things at the meetings, but all you seem to care about is your stupid dates with idiotic tramps and crazy pranks with your equally self-centered friends. God you are such an arrogant prick; sometimes I just want to scream at you to get the fuck away from me Potter. I don't want you asking me out everyday, or even talking to me like what you are saying is the most important damn thing in the world," Lily yelled; she was still sitting but looked extremely scary from her seat on the couch. 

"I am sick and tired of you sitting here judging me. You don't even know me Evans but somehow you find it within your capacity to express your opinion about everyone. I am not the horrible person you make me out to be. What the hell is so bad about talking to you? So what if I ask you out? That doesn't make me into some arrogant self indulged prick that doesn't care for anyone but himself. If you haven't noticed I care about my friends more than I care about myself. But you're too wrapped up in judging everyone around you to notice the good in people. All you seem to focus on is their flaws, and I have to tell you Evans, it's bloody annoying," James yelled back at her.

While they fought a lot, James almost never raised his voice at her. He would occasionally say something a little loud to make his point heard but he never yelled. James was one who was extremely parsimonious about who he unleashed his temper on but right now, his eyes were blazing like the fire he lit when he walked into the room.

Lily sat there shocked; she had never seen him like this in the past six full years she had known him. Fixated behind his round glasses, his brown and amber eyes were throwing daggers at her. She had always screamed at him during their fights, but he never did. But now, she was truly scared. He had never made her feel so unsafe; he looked as if he was as unstable as a seesaw.

"Evans…I can't do this anymore. If you so desperately want me to stop talking to you, asking you out, or even coming near you, then fine. I'll just ignore you then. You will only have to talk to me when it is absolutely necessary. You are so desperate to get away from me, so I will abide by your wishes," James spat at her in a tone resembling the one he used towards Snape or Malfoy.

"Potter..." the only word that could escape her limp lips. She was scared, like he was going to throw some statue at her any second.

"Just shut it. Goodbye to you, Lily Evans," James said calmly. Then with the turn of his heel, he left Lily sitting on the couch by herself. Lily was left to the sound of the crackling fire and the portrait swung open and closed with a heavy thud. What the hell had just happened? She didn't even know how to process the information, how to think about what happened.

James Potter had just agreed never to speak to her again. She should have been jumping out of her seat for joy, but instead she was left with some odd sense in the pit of her stomach. This shouldn't be bothering her.

Lily sat alone in the common room with the fire crackling in the background; she pulled her knees up to her chest and rested her head on them. After an hour or so of incessant analyzing, Lily drifted asleep on the couch, her head resting on the soft pillow next to her.

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James couldn't sleep, so he walked around the castle under his invisibility cloak as not to be caught by Filch. His footsteps resonated throughout the dank corridors, but he soon found himself walking a familiar path to the Head common room. Since Lily and he had received the room, he had found it as his safe haven where he could go to think without listening to Sirius's escapades with random girls and Remus's inquiries about everything he was thinking about. James didn't want to analyze everything immediately; his mind needed time to process everything.

He walked up to the sleeping portrait and tapped on it lightly. "What do you want?" it croaked noisily at him.

"Sweet wine," James sighed, as the portrait swung open. He was met by a soft light coming from the fireplace, and the sight of a small red headed figure curled up on the couch in the same place he left her. All the anger he had before drained from him as he gazed upon her sleeping form. Her red hair was all messy and splayed across the pillow.

He casually walked across the room, standing over her. He knelt down in front of her face and brushed the few strands of red hair from her face. He couldn't believe he had promised her he would never talk to her again. Just one look at her face and he wanted to take it all back. He loved her so much; god he loved her. It scared him how strong he felt, even just kneeling here in front of her. But she would never know how he felt, never.

James stood up somberly and pulled the blanket off the chair on the other side of the room. He draped it over her sleeping body and sat down in the chair opposite from the couch. He just watched her sleep there for awhile until the morning sunlight flowed through the window signaling dawn.

He pulled himself up from the chair and proceeded to walk out of the room as silently as he had entered it.

Before he stepped out of the portrait, he muttered, "Good morning Lily." With that, he closed the portrait and made his way back to Gryffindor tower.

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**A/N:** ok please review. I seriously enjoy reading people's comments on my work. It helps me to continue to write my story if I know people actually enjoy reading it. _**REVIEW REVIEW REVIEW!!!!!!**_

The next chapter will have more of Lily's odd friends, Sirius's antics, and James sulking. So much damn fun…


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